At Home Guidance for Caring for the Dying, the Deceased, and the BereavedWhether your loved one dies from COVID-19, or from an unrelated illness, accident, overdose, or suicide – death will look different in this time of pandemic.
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Compounding our grief over the death of a loved one may be shock if the death was unexpected, and trauma given the context of societal crisis. Helping systems, both personal and institutional, are highly stressed. We may struggle not only with the fact of a loved one dying, but with the profound disorientation of being unable to care for our dying, our dead, and the bereaved in the hands-on, physically present ways we wish to.
Public health measures attempting to curb the spread of the coronavirus are altering the ways we can care for the dying, perform after-deathcare, and gather to bury or cremate and memorialize our dead. Considerations include the following, subject to local restrictions and evolving conditions:
Scroll to the bottom of this page for a summary of Center for Disease Control guidance on after-death body care, after-death vigils, viewings and funerals, and other deathcare links.
Public health measures attempting to curb the spread of the coronavirus are altering the ways we can care for the dying, perform after-deathcare, and gather to bury or cremate and memorialize our dead. Considerations include the following, subject to local restrictions and evolving conditions:
- Support for the dying, whether at home or in a hospital or other care facility, may be more limited Systems of support, stretched thin under the best of circumstances, will be overloaded. Medical and hospice personnel and equipment may be less available. Supplies that guard against infection may be unavailable. Family and friends may be prohibited from being present, even if the dying person does not have COVID-19, due to other pandemic-containment restrictions.
- After-death body care (bathing and dressing your loved one), transportation, and preparation for burial may be more restricted While the risk of transmission of the virus from the deceased is minimal, contact with potentially contagious family members or caregivers is to be avoided. Consult the CDC guidance below to determine precautions for direct body care in a home setting. Funeral service professionals may be wearing protective gear when removing the deceased from home, even with deaths from other causes, which may be jarring to family members. Cremation and cemetery operators previously willing to honor a family’s wish to transport their own dead, or to accept family-provided cremation/burial shrouds or caskets may impose protective restrictions in the present circumstances. (See CDC Guidance below.)
- Cremation, burial, funerals are subject to contagion-control restrictions on people gathering Direct burial and direct cremation – disposition of the deceased without ceremony or witnesses physically present – are becoming the norm during the pandemic, regardless of the cause of death, out of concern for the spread of contagion when people gather. Many cemeteries and funeral homes are striving to offer live-streamed witnessing and deferred or physically-distant memorialization and bereavement options. A number of community-based alternatives are emerging, along with numerous grassroots examples of ceremonies of bereavement and remembrance when a funeral isn’t possible. (See When a Funeral Isn't Possible below.)
- Death certificate filing will be limited to electronic registry systems While some states have provisions for families to file their own death certificates, the public offices that receive in-person filings will have restrictions on in-person public access.
- Organ and tissue donations and autopsy procedures are affected For an overview of changes to these and other institutional death care procedures, see “How Death Care Workers are Handling COVID-19”.
Scroll to the bottom of this page for a summary of Center for Disease Control guidance on after-death body care, after-death vigils, viewings and funerals, and other deathcare links.
Emotional Support for Grief and Trauma
Stress, anxiety, and other depression-like symptoms are common reactions during and after a disaster and may compound the grief and disorientation surrounding the death of a loved one. Hospice programs, which provide bereavement support for affected family members for a year after the death of a hospice patient, are a good resource. Some find on-line grief support forums helpful.
Trauma-informed telephone support available 24/7:
General Grief Resources:
Trauma-informed telephone support available 24/7:
- The Disaster Distress Helpline, 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746: 24/7, 365-day-a-year, national hotline dedicated to providing immediate crisis counseling for people who are experiencing emotional distress related to any natural or human-caused disaster. Toll-free, multilingual, and confidential.
- Emotional Well-being During the COVID-19 Outbreak: Tips and Links and 24/7 Helpline
General Grief Resources:
- Do This Not That: How to Help a Grieving Friend free download from Refuge in Grief
- A Compendium of Grief Resources from Master Life-Cycle Celebrant Danna Schmidt of Waypoint Ceremonies
Advance Directives & Tools to Have the Conversation
With examples in early-hit countries and cities showing how fast things can change in a time of pandemic, now is the time to revisit or complete your advance medical directives (does the prospect of COVID-19 change your views on whether you would want to be placed on a ventilator?) and to have conversations about mortality within families or social networks. The Conversation Project is a great place to start; check out their worksheet on Being Prepared in the Time of COVID-19 and 18 Helpful Resources to Help You Navigate COVID-19. COVID-19 raises particular questions about ventilators to consider in advance. (See Vermont Advance Directive.)
Links for Covid-19 Death Care Information
- National Funeral Directors Association COVID-19 Guidance
- Centers for Disease Control COVID-19 Guidance
- Green Burial Council
- Conservation Burial Alliance
- Check the website of your state’s health authority or governor for COVID-19 restrictions specific to your state
Much of the information on our larger site can provide useful background for family-directed care for the dead and hiring funeral service professionals, including our Glossary, How to Arrange Disposition, How to Work with Professionals, How to Create Ceremony, How to Go Out Greener, and our imagination-expanding Read Their Stories (coming soon). Just keep in mind these pages reflect normal circumstances; you will have to factor in the limitations and stressors on all helping systems referenced here.
